Darshan

kirtan

So last night I went to my first kirtan set. For the uninitiated, kirtan is the devotional practice of singing and chanting the names of God in a meditative state. The event I went to was organized by ISKCON of Philadelphia, so there was a lot of members of the Sri Radha-Krishna temple there.

The event was in a small yoga studio downtown, and the room we were singing in was dim, lit with small Christmas lights and candles. chairs and yoga mats with pillows were spread over the floor for seating. there was a faint smell of sweat in the air as the room we were in was adjacent to a bikram yoga studio, but oil diffusers quickly filled the space with the scent of nag champa.

while the musicians tune their instruments, we observe a moment of silence to get into the mood. then, the singing begins:

“Jaya Radhe, Jaya Radhe, Jaya Radhe, Jaya Sri Radhe…”

We chant each hymn or name for 15 to 20 minutes, break, then chant something new.

What I love about kirtan is that it is not something that you can simply observe. Everyone gets into the spirit and you can feel the music flowing through everyone.  Some people just rock back and forth, singing the song under their breath, some dance, and some sway and belt out with some impressive pipework. I was singing pretty loudly, and I loved how my voice melded into one amazingly beautiful chorus. There were young and old folks there, and everyone was absorbed in the sound. It really gets you high on God.

Afterward, there was a meal provided by Govinda’s, a local vegetarian restaurant. There was rice, sabji (mixed veggies in a sweet and sour sauce, totally my new favorite meal), and salad.

It’s honestly really hard to capture my experience last night with this little post. There was so much energy and love in that room that I really can’t put it into words. All I can say is that I plan on making it a regular practice of going to kirtan every month.

jai jagat. <3

Anonymous asked: what do you do for a living?

nothing. you have a job for me? I could use it.

wake up.

the year’s almost over and I’m coming to a very interesting place in my life. it feels like I’ve been asleep for a really long time and just now I’m waking up and noticing how the sunlight feels on my skin. I’ve been through so many changes this year that I’m surprised I’m still coherent and somewhat sane. but they were all good, necessary changes. maybe they were painful at times, but still necessary. and for that, I’m grateful. I’m still changing though, because life, ultimately, is change. I’m becoming a vegetarian, I’m growing out my hair to start my dreadlocks, I’m trying to get back into my art, I’m giving away a lot of stuff, I’m visiting temples, doing puja and kirtan and just diving head first into my faith…and it all feels so good, so right.

when I went to the Krishna temple yesterday I was really nervous. I’d never been to a temple before, but I knew there was a lot of etiquette involved, like taking off your shoes, washing your hands, doing namaskaram before the deities, etc. I was really afraid that I wouldn’t do it right, and that I would offend the devotees or the priests there. but just as I was about to go into the mandir, a devotee showed up and was incredibly nice to me, gave me a tour, ran through the basic procedure of cleansing yourself and doing namaskaram and making offerings and such. after the lunchtime aarti, while we were carrying the food into a seperate room so the devotees and the priest could eat, he said, “I feel like the Lord made this happen. ‘Cause think about it, if I wasn’t here, no one would have showed you around or anything.”

And when I was waiting for the train to go home after my visit, I was overcome with emotion. I almost cried. Because the Lord did orchestrate this. He never lets me down, even when I feel like I’m at rock bottom, there’s always this light peering down. Shiva orchestrated all of this. He’s brought so many good people into my life this year that have taught me so much, listened to my rants, made me laugh, held me when I cried, and He’s helped me change people’s lives too. whether I worship Him as Shiva, or Ganesh, or Krishna, or Ma Durga, or Tara, or Jesus, or whomever, I know that He is always at work in my life. He’s never just sitting back and watching or judging. He is everywhere, and in everything.

everything happens for a reason, that I know to be true, even if I don’t always understand why. but when it comes to God’s will in our lives, the point is not to wonder ‘why? why did you do it this way? why couldn’t this be easier?’, the point is to accept it, be grateful for whatever growth that will come out of it, and continue to walk forward, step by step. the point is to wake up and feel the light. it’s everywhere.

singing to my food

when I cook, I sing to my food.

as I stir or fry or flip or sprinkle spices into a pot, I sing to the food.

why? well, for one, I am losing my mind. this is a good thing.

two, food carries energy. when you cook in a hurried and nervous state, your thought process being “omg-I- have-to-cook-this-food-so-I-can-eat-and-get-out-of-the-kitchen-and-iron-my-clothes-and-(endless list of mental notes)…”, you transfer that kind of energy into your food. I’ve seen this at work with my mom. sometimes she’ll be in a real rush to cook dinner and I can taste it in the food. I taste it physically when she burns something or forgets to put salt in it, and on an energetic level, she’s transferring her anxiety into my dinner!

that’s why it’s important to first cook slowly and mindfully. take it to another level and pray over your food. you should always offer the food first to the Lord, because God is the source of all prosperity and sustenance. then, pray that any sort of negative impressions you may have left on the food are taken away. simply chanting a short mantra over the food a few times is good for this. 

I sing to the food because I want to make this act of cooking into a meditative experience. I want to imbue this couscous or this tomato soup with positive energy so that when I eat it, I take that positivity into my body. I want to remember that God is the source of my food and God is in my food. so when you come over my house for dinner and catch me listening to Krishna Das and singing “Sita Ram, Sita Ram, Sita Ram Jai, Sita Ram…” into the pot, don’t be too alarmed. I am crazy and I’m trying to make some good food.

jai jagat. <3

festivals

So this week marks the start of Diwali (or Deepavali) in the Hindu calendar. It’s a pretty big festival, with many different origin myths and a good number of deities associated with it.

The festival is, on a spiritual level, about recognizing the light within us, the Divine within us, the inherent good. That’s why all of the myths and stories associated with Diwali have to do with some sort of triumph, a good vs. evil sort of thing.

I don’t have a guru, and I don’t go to temple (yet), so I’m celebrating Diwali on my own. I invited a few friends over for puja (worship) and dinner on Saturday, so we’ll be celebrating Lakshmi Puja (worship of Lakshmi Devi, the goddess of wealth and beauty) together.

I’ll post a little more on it later.

jai jagat. <3

cooking

I rinse the lentils, and cleanse them of impurities, just as the Lord bathes me in the waters of the Holy Ganges and removes my sins.

Peeling potatoes, I remove the dirty skins and leave only the pristine white spud behind. just as I remove from myself that which holds me back from my goals.

The ingredients combined— the stew simmers; the samosas fry. My soul reflects upon the light of the Infinite.

I’ve been getting into the habit of mindful cooking; cooking as puja (worship). A lot of times when we cook we rush through it, we’re in a haste to cook the food, get it on the plate, and eat it, especially if there are others waiting to be served. It’s such a sad thing, in my opinion. You see this everywhere— quick fix frozen meals, recipes that can be done in under 30 minutes, or recipes calling for all sorts of pre-packaged ingredients out of a box. The emphasis is on getting the cooking done so you can be out of the kitchen as fast as possible! Because of this, our cooking might suffer. In your haste you add too much salt to a stew, or burn a pot of rice, or undercook some pasta. I suppose this just goes with our culture’s prevalent attitude of not having enough time. We all need to slow down and notice the scenery, instead of just being so focused on getting to where we’re going.

Mindful cooking is a nice place to start. I like playing some meditative music, saying a short prayer to begin and then proceeding to do everything with awareness. I am washing these lentils. I am chopping this onion. I am kneading this dough. I try to shut off that little voice that worries about getting the meal ready on time, or getting my errands done tomorrow, or wonders why this person hasn’t talked to me today, or whatever. It’s just me and the lentils, the onion, the dough. Nothing else. This way I’m far less likely to burn something or injure myself. Sometimes I mutter prayers or compose little poems while I’m cooking. It’s incredibly relaxing.

In the Ayurvedic tradition of cooking, cooking is puja in and of itself. The food you’re cooking is eaten both by you and God, by the soul and the Supersoul. Thus, cooking is a meditative, spiritual practice, not just an means to an end. One thing I’ve read about is the practice of not tasting the food before it is offered to God. It is, of course, reverent to first offer the food to God before tasting it and eating it yourself.  I like this practice and I’ve been trying to do it every time I cook (admittedly I have slipped up here and there and tasted something before praying over it— hey, I’m human, right?). Lord Krishna tells us in the Bhagavad Gita that when we offer our food before eating, we’re cleansed of our sins. When I offer the food, I usually say something short but meaningful, like “To You goes the Honor, the Power, and the Glory, now and forever.” (inspired by Christianity). 

When you cook in a meditative state, you cook with awareness and love, and that energy is transferred into your cooking. It’s just another way to live in the Spirit, Through this way I’m learning how to devote myself to the nourishment of my soul while nourishing my body.